you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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