i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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