And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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