You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
