it wasn't lemon gatorade
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
