On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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