can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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