I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
