I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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