at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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