I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
