she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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