Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
of course. lets lasso hookers.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
