Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
