Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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