just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
