Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
