I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
how can u be prego again
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
