my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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