His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
