Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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