i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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