I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You ate ashes out of my bong
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
