: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
