I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Terrible idea I love it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
