i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
