He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
