so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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