Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
