is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
