Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
