cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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