She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
