She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
