Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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