were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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