I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Let's get the cat blown out
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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