he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
