She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
