it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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