dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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