she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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