"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
