so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
