Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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