is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
