brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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