Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
