you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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