Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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